Wesley J Shepherd

[Bill the Awesome]

This should probably go in the ask the author section now that I think of it. I was wondering, one thing that never sat right with me. Why didn't Shep just kill Wesley? Why did he let him live at all?

[pesposito]

Well, I'd rather have the author's word on this, but my take on it in the book was that he couldn't, like he couldn't kill Patrick. I think he does come to love people and he'd been with Wesley since Wesley was a little boy. And maybe that's also why the betrayal was so hard on him. Partly that, and partly the fear of being in the void again (it's inconceivable to me how he survived that and makes it hard not to admire Shep too--but that's straying off subject). It's interesting though because Shep does leave loose ends, no matter how tight a ship he thinks he's running (somone--Patrick?--says that during that big revelation/confrontation near the end). Patrick is a loose end too. (And that's the other thing I love about Shep--he's vulnerable to some human things.)

[Adrienne]

WOW. That's a good one. Thanks to you guys for coming up with such thoughtful questions, it's very validating as an author to see the readers have picked up on so much detail in the book. Keep em comin!

Wesley J. Shepherd, and why didn't Shep kill him. This is a 2 part answer.

The first answer is what Pat said above. I've always felt that the opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is indifference. Shep hates Wesley to such an extreme that he can't even say his name aloud. Of course part of this has to do with what Wesley did to him, the unthinkable. But it's also a betrayal by a loved one. Shep chose Wesley when he was only 10 years old, spent years grooming him, put all of himself into him (including his own blood, so they are in a sense 'related' now). And kudos to Pat for seeing the paralllel--in that Shep also could not kill Patrick later on. Granted, the moment he realized he couldn't kill Patrick, was ironically the exact moment he finally decided he COULD kill Wesley. He could only handle one emotional connection under all that anger and stress, and let's face it, he's STILL the bad guy, but back to the point...Shep cared for Wesley intensely, regardless of his own intermittent sociopathy.

Reason #2: Shep wanted Wesley to suffer. Let's not forget that Shep is one of the few creatures walking the earth that actually knows, more or less, what happens when you die. Shep felt that death was too good for Wesley, that he needed a harsher and more appropriate punishment. Wesley tried to send Shep back to the nothingness. Shep saw complete isolation as an apt punishment. Wesley would not be allowed the luxury of death; instead he would live with nothing, AS nothing for all eternity.

Wesley's prison was a tad more cozy than the void, mind you, and we can wonder if this had anything to do with Shep's lingering affection. I like to leave some things open to reader interpretation. ;D

[pesposito]

Ooh, yeah, I forgot about some of the things Wesley said when he was explaining what his life was like now to Patrick and Robin and Litner. It is like Shep to impose this sort of punishment. And I always try to remember that he thinks death is a good thing for humans--as I read and re-read the Captain Morgan scene--you know how I have to justify everything he does.

I really liked that whole scene of revelations from Wesley, getting to know Shep as he first started, feeling the tug and pull in Wesley's own heart, and how sad and curious he was when he learned the brothers were free. No doubt he loved Shep and hated him. It's interesting because he comes in late in the book and seems so inevitable somehow, and fits in so perfectly at the end. (It really all piles up on Shep, poor guy.)